Parma

Dear Italy,

We've been together for a couple of weeks now. I've come to learn that you're an amazing country: stunningly beautiful buildings and works of art, the warmest people around, excellent weather (if not a bit cold) and kick-ass ham. You're all these things and much, much more.

That's why it's so hard for me to say this, but: we really need to talk.

Now, I don't want you to get defensive or take this the wrong way. We all have things about ourselves that aren't perfect. For example, there are times when I may over-organize. I now see the benefit in not tabbing every moment of a vacation and just "seeing how things go", even though this is difficult for me and against my nature. Similarly, Marco has realized the folly of his thinking that "all cheese is bad cheese" and has expanded his tastes in solidified milk products... somewhat.


See? It's good to embrace change, even if that change is difficult. So please believe me that I say this with love, and your best interests at heart: you need to improve your effing street signage, STAT.

I'm not even talking about the weird signs. You know, those incomprehensible ones that, like an Italian variety show, no one really understands.

I'm talking about your everyday, plain-vanilla signage... the signs used by the motoring public and tourists. The point of a sign, as I understand it, is to provide helpful directional assistance and yet I can't count how many times we've been burned by:

a) lack of clearly-needed signage;
b) confusing signage;
c) signage that provides desperately inadequate warning of the sign subject-matter (where the sign is the equivalent of suddenly shrieking "TURN NOW!"); and
d) completely inaccurate signage.

For instance, today, on our circuitous and overly-long way to "Hotel Button" (misdirection for which you are responsible - sorry) you provided the following instruction:


Now, if we had followed this advice, we would have driven over a sidewalk curb, toward a pedestrian staircase, launched ourselves over same (Dukes of Hazard style) to the roadway below. Had our vehicle followed your advice and remained intact and functional, we still would not have been even remotely near our desired destination.

No one's asking you to change who you are or to label everything in site or to embrace the Tabs of Fun or any other tabular organizational initiative. We want you to remain true to who you are. All we're asking is that instead of erecting signage that is the equivalent of an a non-committal shrug, you refrain from erecting any signs that are spectacularly inaccurate or recommend illegality (such as directing cars to drive down pedestrian stairs, for instance).

From this small first step, it's just a short hop to erecting signage that is "more or less correct".

Try it. You may find it feels good.

Still yours,
Adrienne and Marco