Another Example of Polyester Gone Bad

You know, when I hear the word "plush" the next word I automatically want to say is "microbe".

Who doesn't, really?

My good friend Denise turned me on to these plush microbes. Denise questioned why such things exist in the world. Why indeed, Denise. I share your flummoxation, tinged with disgust. Isn't the world scary enough without Little Billy playing with... THE EBOLA VIRUS???!?!??!

I agree with Denise that this plush has some 'splaining to do. Mastermind, the vendor of these delightful toys, (and presumably the plush's spokesperson) had this to say on behalf of the inappropriate, polyester-blend stuffies:

An epidemic is sweeping through playrooms everywhere. The symptoms: soft, cuddly hugs accompanied by huge laughs and learning! That's because Giant Microbes are popping up all over. Giant Microbes are plush, macro-sized versions of some micro-sized "bugs" that we're all familiar with - like the Common Cold, Sore Throat and Ear Ache - and some we're not - like, Ebola. Cuddly learning fun!

They had me until "cuddly learning fun".

Admittedly, some of the plushies seem like they would provide hours (or at least seconds) of edutainment, like your friend and mine, "Red Blood Cell".

Or, somewhat more disgustingly, “Bad Breath” and “Mange”.

Some of the plushies are actually pleasant, like “Sea Sparkle” (AKA "Noctiluca" which causes bioluminescence in the ocean).

Unfortunately, some are just wildly inappropriate for anything connected to a plush, or a child, or a child with a plush, or anything remotely associated with good taste in general.

Which ones? Oh, I don't know... how about a plush “HIV” (!)
or a cuddly "Flesh Eating Bacteria" plush, complete with knife and fork motif (presumably 'cuz it's a-coming to EAT YOUR LEG OFF, BILLY!!!)

People, do we seriously want to have conversations with the under-4 set about what happens when someone gets Ebola?

Billy: "What do you mean by 'external hemorrhage from orifices', Mommy?"

Mommy: "It means bleeding from your bum-hole and eyes, Billy"

Billy: Crack! (This is the sound Billy's fragile psyche makes when it shatters, dooming him to become a(nother) chronically maladjusted adult).

The (heretofore) innocent world of plush has been violated. It may never recover.

$3500 Socks

Meet my new favourite socks (I made them!):

The pattern is "Retro Rib Socks" by Evelyn A. Clark and can be found in Favourite Socks: 25 Timeless Designs from Interweave.

The yarn is Celestial Merino Dream (100% wool) by Tradewind Knitwear Designs. It is hand-dyed in Nova Scotia by Lucy Neatby. Colour is "Seashell". You may remember this yarn from such blogs as my trip to The Loop in Halifax this past August.

There's something about a hand-knit sock that's just soooooo much more comfortable than a store-bought sock. You may think I have yarn goggles on because I made these guys, but really, there's a surprising amount of difference in terms of comfort.

Those of you who know me know I love to knit. People sometimes ask me why I don't knit for a living. Although this *seems* like a good idea (see last post re: pumpkin template of myself) in reality the Free Market (and repetitive stress disorder) make a knitting career prohibitive.

Let's do some math! I know, you were informed this was a math-free blog. I hear your pain, but stay with me here: Each sock takes about 10 hours to complete. So, at 20 hours for the labour (at my current articling rate) plus the costs of this yarn ($60) make these socks worth $3560. Dude! Even if I only charged $10/hour, the socks would still be $260.

I'm guessing most people would find this prohibitively expensive for sockwear... even for lovely artisan-quality sockwear.

Of course, knitting's not about the money (which is probably what makes it fun). I'm just sayin', I won't be quitting my day job anytime soon.

Gourd Fun (The Best Kind of Fun)

In the grand tradition of Kingston, Emma and I did our annual Artisan Pumpkin Carve.

Things started out a bit rough. I was slightly over-ambitious and tried to use my own template... of myself.

I also made this one of Louis le Chat:

Now, I'm no lightweight. I once carved the Mona Lisa on a pumpkin, and let's not forget my brilliant Johnny Cash Circa 2003 Pumpkin Materpeice. Both of those turned out splendidly, thankyouverymuch. However, Louis and I proved just too difficult to carve.

Life lesson: some things that seem like a good idea at the time... actually aren't.

I shall revisit this issue next year.

Anyhoo, after some rather frustrating (and highly dangerous) moments with the X-acto knife and the above patterns, I settled on this memorial pumpkin tribute to the late great Crocodile Hunter:

Emma did a lovely Harry Potter:

We were rather proud of ourselves.

Even though Faye's kitchen took a beating in the process and Emma startled Joey when she turned into a knife-wielding maniac

a good, and gourd-filled time was had by all.