Massive Bridal Meltdown

This is totally why the bridesmaids need standard-issue tranquilizer guns.

This is a bit long but stick with it. It is hil-ar-ious!

Meet "Dania"

So I was trying to explain my new shoe-friend purchase to my blogophobic friend (let's call her "Sparkle.")

Me: "So, I bought some new shoe-friends!"

Sparkle: "Ooooh! What do they look like?" (Note: the appropriate level of enthusiasm for a new shoe-friend purchase was used. The appropriate level, as you all know, is just slightly less than an engagement announcement. The difference being that the squeal is optional and tears are not required.)

Me: "Well, they're light blue, leather, animal print, pointy, slingbacks!"

Sparkle: <struggling for something to say that is not "they sound like a Vegas lounge act gone wrong and a poor use of limited resources"> "Mmm." (Enthusiasm level: poor.)


Clearly, something was lost in translation because these new shoe-friends are super-fine.

Everyone, I would like you to meet "Dania". Dania, this is my blog readership.


Blog readership: "Wow, Dania! You are hot. Is that a copper-finish on your interior"

Dania: "Why, yes it is. Thank you for noticing."

Blog readership: "Dania, what kind of animal pattern graces your lovely form?"

Dania: "It's faux-crocodile, dahlings! Real crocodile would be cruel."

Blog readership: "Thanks for giving us a close-up, Dania. Your total fine-ness is completely apparent. Tell us, do you think you could be worn in a work setting? Such as, oh, I don't know, a Bay Street law firm?"

Dania: "Of course! I know people who have worn flip flops to those kind of jobs. (Really). And even though I am a slingback (and blue, and faux-crocodile...) I am close-toed, ergo I will not be inappropriate in a corporate atmosphere. I may not be a "court shoe" but I would definitely fit in around the office."

Blog readership: "So, you're actually more of a *work purchase* and less of an impulse buy, and therefore an appropriate use of limited resources?"

Dania: "What a clever and perceptive blog readership!"

Birthday Appropriation, Birthday Joy, Birthday Disappointment

So, I bought this purse for someone's upcoming birthday... but it was massively on sale. And it's sweet, hobo-esque siren song proved too hard to resist.

Now, it is my purse.

In other birthday goings-on, another birthday boy (who turned 6) became jealous since he did not receive the Italian leather hand bag he had been eyeing at Bark and Fitz. Then he noticed that the big purse came with a smaller purse that the manufacturer specified was for "change".

Someone thought not.

In fact, a certain pug realized that the small purse was perfectly constructed to hold a Scoopie and a fiber biscuit.

The next day, it was someone else's birthday. This person really enjoyed receiving Justice League Unlimited Season I.

This same sentiment was not present for this person upon receiving Knitting with Balls: A Hands-On Guide to Knitting for the Modern Man. He'll thank me later when he can make charming hand-knit sweaters, such as the one I made him that he is wearing in the picture.