Florence the Fourth

"All this place really needs is a bishop zip-line right to the alter."
- Marco, atop the Duomo at Santa Maria del Fiore

Dudes. We were touring machines today. We are not sleeping when we're dead; we've scheduled touring for the afterlife.

We were up at 6:30, breakfasted, clothed and out the door to be at the Bargello for its opening at 8:15. We were first in line. (We win!)

The Bargello is the oldest seat of government surviving in Florence. It has been the residence of the chief of police and a prison. Executions took place in the courtyard here until 1786.


However, after extensive renovation (the gallows look is so dated) it is now a museum. We saw a ton. Pictures were not allowed... but I Kinneared a bit. We saw "Bacchus" by Michelangelo (his first major work), "Mercury" by Giambologna, "David" by Donatello


"Lady with a Posy" by Andrea Verrochio or possibly his pupil, Leonardo da Vinci


just to name a few.

The best part? We were practically the only ones in the whole museum. Which means we could engage in carefree frolic through the ceramics section if we wanted.


Throughout our whole time in the Bargello, we only saw two other tourists. Despite the hideous pain of waking up early on vacation, it's totally worth it to avoid the crowds.

Now, because we are uber-efficient, we were able to get in line prior to the 10:00 am opening of Santa Maria del Fiore, the cathedral we showed you in Florence the First.

This is a huge cathedral. To this day, no other building stands taller in the city. We saw the Last Judgment frescoes painted by Vasari


D-Man showed up (as he usually does)


And because we were there so early, the hordes were somewhat thinner than usual allowing us to give you this picture of the amazingly intricate marble floor.


Even though we knew this was the tallest building in Florence, and our butts have still not fully recovered from the Riomaggiore Death March, we (idiotically) decided to climb the 463 steps to the top of Brunichelli's dome in the cathedral (and pay 8 Euros each for the "pleasure" of doing so.)

After the first half of the climb, you arrive in the actual dome area, right under the frescoe. The view from the top is amazing (and would lend itself quite well to a bishop zip-line, as Marco noted.)


But that's only half way. Next, it's up these narrow, cramped stairs...


to the very tippy-top on the outside of the dome. The views of the city are amazing up here...


... although now Marco reports that his butt can not only crack walnuts, but also press diamonds from coal on command and in under three minutes.

After a Pause that Refreshes, we made it to the Uffizi. There were really no pictures allowed in there, not even Kinneared ones. We saw all the major works of art, though. Clam Lady, Jesus' Family Portrait, Stepped on Something Hurty, Naked Flower Lady, Hippies in the Forest, and Getting Avian Diseases AKA The Day I Let My Kids Play with a Bird. We totally rocked that place.

I can't believe this is our last night in Italy! Tomorrow we are off to Zurich to visit with my sister, the Swiss Miss and her fiancé, the Swiss Mister. We are looking forward to it... and hope they have a washing machine.